Monday, December 17, 2007

IDOL



THIS IS FOR MY BEST FRIEND AND HER FATHER

Death is at once
The end of the body's
Old journey
And the beginning of the soul's
New journey.
~~~~
I do not know why…when someone dies …we cry. And I cannot reconcile about the belief that passing away is just ending something temporary and beginning something eternal…Well it is easy to say verses to console but it is hard to cope up for a loss.

Tonight …my wits are dull no words that I can compose of…I am in deep sadness…not only for the loss of my very good friend but for my very own loss as well…

I just learned that the father of my best friend passed away yesterday in a stroke. I do not know how to feel. I want to reach out to my friend but hell…how will I? I do not have a direct line to my friend’s phone.

Thoughts came running in my mind…the last time I saw him he was still full of life…In my mind I could see his smile…his chuckle when I threw a joke…

I do not know why he was called IDOL by his friends…. Maybe because there was some greatness in him that they say. All I know was that he was this man who loved my best friend so much.

He was this man I knew since I was a child. With a salt and pepper hair…husky voice…driving the orange DPWH orange pick up…a thoughie ...one you would think that he always means business…. and because of that I always thought he was someone to be scared of. He was always out of the house... busy with his work. But whenever I called up my best friend and a husky voice would say “HELLO”…I would then be scared and hung up the phone. And when I went to their house and visit my friend I would not be making much of the talking when he was around.

…..to my mind that time HE WAS THE DAD OF MY BES FRIEND….

When me and my best friend grew older we separated paths…. I went away to pursue my studies and to work as a lawyer. And then…I went back to my home town and I visited my best friend…I saw him... still the man with white hair but a bit more older. And as time went by as I usually go by their house to visit my best friend... I would be amazed with such a realization….the though man that I saw and perceived as someone who was uptight had loosen up.

This time it was not the though side that I saw in him…his sweet side…


… I was amazed to see the man whom I usually felt an air of fear was such an old sweet guy. And when I enter their home I would see him on the couch watching TV. If he would know I just came in he would over me some peanuts …the one he would be munching at day time.
He always have his warmth…We became text mates. On special occasions he would send a greeting. And when ever I send him gifts…he never failed to send me his gratitude.

Gone was the vitality of a tough man …someone tired but someone who had have the best of his years. Gone was the husky voice that would scare my wits off…but a silence that I would understand with all sincerity. Gone was his busy hectic schedule for work…but a calm relaxed day to enjoy the true worth of living…..


This time he was not only THE DAD OF MY BEST FRIEND, but rather HE WAS MY SECOND DAD…MY FRIEND …MY TEXT MATE…

The last time I saw him…he was still ok. Well he could not speak but you can see in is eyes that he was happy being with his family. ..thankful to be alive each day and enjoying the joys of everyday living. To wake up day by day…smell the flowers…eat a sumptuous meal that either his wife or her daughter had prepared for the day. To visit the city proper once in a while and to eat the Norte Empanada …even for everyday.

Those were the last memories I have for him…before I left Vigan. And now this cold night in New York …wondering why I never heard anything from my best friend for quite sometime…the news of his death struck me. HE IS GONE….

When I will be back to Vigan he will be one of he memories I will miss…he is a part of the Vigan which I left. And my Vigan will never be the same again.

To where ever he is right now …I hope he is happy. To the memories he had left…I am sure it will be cherished very much…to his legacy…

To my best friend:
Ate…agininom nak tatta ditoy …nadamag ko keni Maita nga awan ni Papang mun…ni Tatta Lito…nakigto tak kasla haan nak pay mamati …ket diay imabagak tattay haan ko amo nu anya ti marik nak. Umuna unay ti marikriknam…amok nu kasano ti panagayat mo keni tatang mo….napalalu la unay. Maykadwa: ti marikriknak…ngamin ket naiyasideg met ti riknak keni tatang mun…han la nga TATANG MU ti panag kitak kanya nan nu ket di gayem ken may kadua nga amak isunan….

Anya ngarud ate…amin nga tau ket pumanaw ditoy nga lubong…ti la question nu sino ti umununa ken sino iti mabati….kasta met ti biag…aglalo datayo nga ananak…agpalubos tayo kanya da nga nagpadakel ken nagayat kanya tayo…..ta isu ti kalintegan ti lubong…ken kalintegan ti naturales ti amin nga agbiyag….haan mo babalawen ti panag panaw na ta numampay kasta haan met nga talaga nga naawan isuna adan latta isuna ti panunot mo ken pusom ken ti panunot ken puso na met. Ate tibkeram ti panunot ken riknam ada nak latta dioy uray nu adayo nak….




“In the cold of the snow storm….I feel for your pain….I know how much you love your father. And I know he is noble... the greatest thing he did for you ....I know and now I understand why he is IDOL……this post is for him. I am sorry I am not there with you now to comfort you and I am sorry for your loss…really I am best friend…”

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

sorry i left this comment on the wrong entry....

i can feel every word stated...each word sinks inside and sedates every pain it caused...yes, even if u're far,what matters are the thoughts from a true friend that is nothing beyond compare and she knows that u will always be there for her...
when i read this, i cant stop my tears..(grace is also a dear friend to me).

Maita said...

wow it was so nice of you to make a blog for my lolo.. thank you.. u made me cry when read this blog super.. i usually read ur blogs lagi akong masaya pag nbbsa ko mga blogs mo but this time lungkot ung naramdam ko lalo kong namiss si lolo.. its so sad na wala tau dun to make our final goodbye to my lolo. but i know lolo will always be the IDOL of everybody..

marcello said...

im sorry anto..take a care

Lorêny Portugal said...

Hi, friend... thank you for your praises.

I wrote about the death it's some months when I lost my dog Sasha... It's very sad and bad for us to stay in front of the death, but is the only right fact in our lives... I feel so.

As I have told in my blog, I intend to write in English for all understand me....

Bye and good afternoon... In Brazil is a hot summer and a lighter day... Kisses!

Lorene

I am said...

waaoo...lucky best friend of yours that she has someone like you,
to think of her in such sad and unlucky moments..

You seem to be a Great Friend,
Live upto it :)

Thanks for visiting my blog...

truewonder said...

a great gift you've given your friend, the most supportive, i feel are the tears you cried for all of you. this writing may be held up to the darkest darkness and spare the light, for him-for you. eloquent feelings here, superb.